Four years ago, I commented to my hairdresser that I'd noticed more hair coming out when I washed it. She casually told me there was a bald spot on my head that she'd meant to mention, but it was OK, she was good at cutting wigs. Needless to say, she ceased being my hairdresser that day and I sought one out who would be a lot more sensitive. Thankfully I found one. For the last few years, I have lived with a boring bob, to allow me to hide the patches as the AA started to cycle round my head. I've been lucky I suppose and the patches have always grown in again. I got used to it and most of the time no one would know I even had bald bits.
That was until this year. Even though I realised I was losing more hair than 'normal', because it has been strand by strand and not great chunks or handfuls at a time, the extent of how bad it has become has crept up on me. I now have 2 hairpieces which cover the top and sides of my head, showing my own hair beneath, so it blends in. They are synthetic hair. I wear them to work and when out but for now, leave them off at home. I look weird in the mirror either way - this full head of hair that's not my own or the thin, scalp-showing hair that is mine.
My 5 year old is adapting to the hairpieces as well. The first time she saw me in one, she screamed for me to put my other head back on. She's never known me without alopecia, but even though the pieces are as close to my own hairstyle and colour, they obviously still look different and I worry they look fake.
It was important to me when I bought them that people wouldn't notice. I could've swapped my short bob for long flowing locks but all I wanted to do was look like me. I don't like drawing attention to myself at the best of times, so for me, i just wanted to blend back in.
I've had lots of comments and compliments on my new hair style (the pieces, although synthetic, have highlights through the hair) but I wonder if people are being kind or if they actually think it is my hair. I wasn't up to telling people the truth - too fragile - but now I wonder if I should have and just gotten it out of the way. I work with kids - so I have heard some of them having a giggle and I get all paranoid and wonder if it is about me.
So, the plan from this point on - to go back and see my GP for a referral somewhere (I originally saw a dermatologist once when it started who wasn't particularly interested. I'd paid to go private too, to be seen quickly). I've also made an appointment for next week with a trichologist - trying not to get my hopes up about that too much. It will be a relief to have someone look at my hair who is not my husband or my sister, or me peering into a mirror with a mirror behind my head to see what is going on.
I'll keep you posted.
